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It’s All In The Details – Creating A Successful Care Plan For Your Children’s Guardians

Death isn’t something we like to talk about, but it’s critical to have a detailed plan for your children’s guardians – just in case. Wills, Trusts & Estates

This past week, my parents came to help my wife and I as we prepared for my wife’s upcoming medical procedure. They came early to learn the kids’ routines such as where their school is, what they eat and their bedtime routines.

Most of us don’t really think much about our day-to-day routines. In fact, we just go. We’re pretty much on autopilot. Having my parents come to help me with the kids was a good dry run for if my wife and I were to unexpectedly pass and we needed our children’s guardians to step in and follow the instructions we’ve prepared.

To help us prepare for her procedure, which would leave her out of pocket for a couple of weeks, my wife typed out every little detail about the kids’ days. Or so we thought. When we did a dry run with my parents, we quickly realized that there were several little – but very important details – that we forgot to include in our notes. And it was these details that would make the difference between a smooth and successful day with our kids versus potential meltdowns and a frustrating experience for everyone.

My wife covered the big ones – what time the kids take their medications, how much and how. Who likes what food, how to maneuver through the carpool line for school and what time they go to bed.

What we forgot to include were things like EXACTLY how to cut my son’s peanut butter sandwich. In her directions, my wife said, “Cut the peanut butter sandwich.” But as my parents were making my son’s peanut butter sandwich during the dry run, they asked, “Do you cut it in half? Do you cut it in quarters?” No. Actually, we have to cut his sandwich into quarter-sized bites and we have to cut off the crust. Wow. Something we do automatically. Failure to include that kind of detailed information could have derailed lunch for my six-year-old special needs son who is in feeding therapy and needs small bites of food to be successful with eating.

Next, my wife wrote specific notes about how to pick up our little girl from preschool (we walk in to get her). As my wife did a walk through with my parents, again, she realized she forgot to include some pretty important details such as:

  • Make sure you have a photo ID or the carpool tag to identify yourself when you pick her up
  • As you walk out of the school, you have to hold her hand as she tends to run out into the parking lot (she’s only 2)
  • And that you need sanitize her hands as soon as you get the car as her brother is medically fragile and a two year old’s hands are a magnificent host for germs.

Again, things we just do without even thinking – but that are really important for keeping our kids safe and ensuring a smooth day.

Further, when my special needs son says “Don Clare” he’s not asking for a person. He’s asking for one of his favorite books. To be honest, I didn’t even know this one. We don’t have a book titled, “Don Clare” and none of the books have a character named “Don Clare.” My son has just begun using two to three word sentences and this was his interpretation of the book titled “Bear Snores On.” How my wife figured this out, remains a mystery to me – and it would have remained a mystery to my parents if my wife hadn’t written it down in our notes after my dad asked her what my son was asking for.  

Our kids, like many others, thrive on routine and have favorite objects or TV shows, books or movies. Simple things like their favorite stuffed animal that they need to go to sleep with at night or where they like to hide their favorite sippy cup or the name of their favorite YouTube videos are small details – but they are of big importance to our children and bring them great comfort.

By painstakingly detailing your routines and including details about what makes your child comfortable or happy in your care plan, you are setting your guardians up for success and for a smooth transition in case something were to suddenly happen to you and your spouse.

Need help planning for your children’s future? We can help. Contact DJ Jeyaram at DJ@JeyLaw.com or 678.325.3872.

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